Steady Mom

how to be a more intentional mother

1. Show up.

Too often we are present with our kids physically, but not present mentally. Guess what? They can tell!

2. Do what needs to be done.

We need to set our priorities and then follow through. While we need to choose peace over productivity, there's no getting around the fact that on a daily basis there is also plain old hard work that needs to be done.

3. Make a plan.

You do not need to schedule every minute of your day, but your day does need to be anchored by even an informal rhythm that lets you know you have your priorities covered. The busier you are (in terms of outside jobs or activities), the more you need this plan.

(If you need help making a plan, can I suggest Steady Days for a little gentle guidance?)

4. Don't overthink it.

I have noticed that we often create our own misery and worries by overanalyzing and worrying about our children, our days, our plans, and pretty much anything else that distracts us.

Being an intentional mother is an art, not a science. There are many ways to do it effectively, so don't overthink it. Instead show up (see #1), remember that this moment is perfect, and give it your imperfect best.

Let grace fill in the gaps.

"However glorious an action in itself, it ought not to pass for great
if it be not the effect of wisdom and intention."
~ Francois de la Rochefoucauld

 

do what works now

Jonathan reading a newspaper on the stone wall in front of our house. I love that boy.

Years ago, I spent ages worrying about whether or not I should use white noise to help my babies sleep. Jonathan and Elijah always had fans in their room--loud ones. This desperate mama didn't want to take any chances about them accidentally waking up when I'd finally got them down successfully.

But a few people told me I shouldn't. "They need to learn to sleep through loud noises. If you train them to sleep with a fan, they'll never be able to sleep without one."

Then I thought, "I can't sleep through loud noises--why should they?"

I cried tears over this fan issue.

But guess what? My three children sleep great now, with or without fans.

It wasn't really that big of a deal. Most things we worry about regarding our children are not big deals. I needed to use white noise at that time--because it worked! Sleeping babies make for happy mamas, and a happy mama is pretty much the key to a happy home.

Do what works for you now in freedom. You're not ruining your kids by one small decision!

"Motherhood has a very humanizing effect.  Everything gets reduced to essentials." 
~Meryl Streep

 

your kids will show you what part of your day isn't working

Is there a time of day when everything falls apart in your home? (Or maybe a few times a day?!!)

I've found, over my almost eight years of motherhood, that a routine or rhythm goes merrily along for some time--then suddenly, what once worked well stops working completely.

I tend to rail against this--getting annoyed and frustrated, but I've discovered over time something incredible:

My kids are trying to show me that something needs to change. If I pay attention and make changes I'll see a gift emerge from what seems like a hardship.

As an example: I wrote this week about what part television plays in my kids' lives. But what I didn't mention (because that post was long enough already) was that a few months ago my children stopped watching videos together as a group.

The reason? It stopped working. What were once the calmest, most reliable, moments of my day--when I could get things done and count on quiet--totally went to pot. Instead I was called to settle arguments, disputes, and bickering during this time.

This distressed me temporarily, but as I thought about it, an idea struck me. And in that idea was a gift.

I decided to try having two of the children watch their videos together, while the other plays. When those two are finished, they go out to play and let the other child watch the same program they just finished.

The result for them? Everyone gets to watch and enjoy their screen time in peace.

The result for me? Because they watch separately, it's almost as though video time has been doubled--though it hasn't. For the kids it's the same amount of screen time, but for me I have twice as long in which to work on projects, housework, or even reading a chapter from a novel.

In other words--it's a win-win!

“Accept the children the way we accept trees—with gratitude, because they are a blessing—but do not have expectations or desires. You don’t expect trees to change,
you love them as they are.”
~ Isabel Allende

fast food at home - simplify your life with 5 kid-friendly dinners

Photo by ilovemypit

Our family has never been big on fast food. But when we lived in the suburbs, I occasionally called Steve (usually after a challenging day) and asked him to pick up takeout on the way home. And there were a handful of times when (gasp!), we ordered Domino's.

But now that we've moved to the country, we are out of the range of most fast food. Domino's doesn't even deliver out here, so forget calling them in a moment of panic! I have since come up with a few dinner options to pull out of my hat when I need a quick dinner on the table.

These are kid-friendly choices that save the day and also save money over their fast-food equivalent. While not necessarily super-healthy choices, they are still whole food options, which is important to me.

1. Yogurt buffet

We always have plain yogurt in the fridge. I give the kids a bowl and assemble a variety of toppings in the kitchen they can add: coconut, raisins, dried fruit, berries, and a drizzle of maple syrup to top it off.

2. Buttery porridge

Basically this means oatmeal with a pat of butter on top. We call it buttery porridge in honor of the sweet Martin and Sylvia from Sparkle Stories. You can also do the buffet option with oatmeal and let kids add toppings.

3. Crackers and cheese

We don't usually have packaged foods, so crackers are quite a treat. I asked Steve to buy a box to keep in the pantry, and last week I assembled several of them on a plate with a few pieces of cheese.

Add some veggie and apple slices, and my kids were thrilled!

4. Eggs and toast

Can you see many of these have a breakfast for dinner theme?! I'm quite a fan of granola for dinner myself sometimes.

5. Crustless quiche

This recipe from Simple Bites has saved the day several times when I needed an easy dinner. You have to plan ahead with this one--since it takes 45 minutes to cook. But putting all the ingredients together takes less than 15 minutes, making it great fast food in my opinion.

Happy, simple eating!

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