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May 2014
the worst mother in the world
The worst mother in the world...
...wouldn't lie awake at night, thinking about the mistake she made earlier in the day.
She wouldn't wonder if her kid would end up in therapy because of it, or desperately wish she could go back and have a do-over.
The worst mother in the world...
...wouldn't take the time to chop veggies for lunch or dinner, doing her best to raise a healthy child in an unhealthy world.
She might not feed him at all.
The worst mother in the world...
...wouldn't watch her babe while he sleeps with the funny lump in her throat and the sense of love rushing over her.
She wouldn't gently caress the side of his baby-soft cheek while a tear rolls down her own.
The worst mother in the world...
...wouldn't rise with that same child later when the moon hangs high in the midnight sky
She wouldn't rock, feed, or comfort him when he's sick or when the nightmares try to get him.
The worst mother in the world...
...wouldn't worry about how much television her little ones watched
She wouldn't feel guilty when she turned on the screen; it would be on all the time anyway.
So no matter what those voices in your head sometimes tell you, you are not the worst mother in the world.
You do all these things, and hundreds more, each turning of the globe.
You're screwing up, like we all are, but you are there. Doing your imperfect best day after day, decade after decade.
It's all going to turn out beautifully, you'll see. How could it not?
Because you are the best mother, for your kids, in the whole world.
"Motherhood: All love begins and ends there."
~ Robert Browning
a new growing season
It's the start of a new growing season.
With hopeful hearts and dirty hands, we dig--full of expectations of the harvest coming in a few months.
It's an exciting time--the start. We have all the expectations but none of the worries--no storms have yet come, no weeds to pull up, just a field full of possibilities.
In the field this month, we're just getting started. But in our home, we planted long ago.
Day by day, we're watering, nurturing, and caring for other seeds. Seeds of kindness, of courage, of self-control, of love of learning, and a hundred other possibilities.
Motherhood doesn't just plant seeds in the children, oh no. It roots new growth in us too-- patience, perseverance, unconditional love, peace, and a host of others.
But not all the seeds are growing yet. Maybe some never will.
Our kids will have issues and we will have issues, and our goal is not to eliminate them all. Our goal is to be faithful, this day, in our fields.
We can't control all the storms of life that will come, the plots we've been given, or whether or not a cloud of grasshoppers will destroy our hard work (reading a lot of Little House around here at the moment).
But we can plant, water, provide light. We can pull up weeds when we see them, making our home the strongest atmosphere we can provide.
And we can hope, instead of worry, about the crops on the way.
In the garden outside my window, the lettuces have already begun to sprout. They're weak and puny, but they are there. But there's no sign of anything else yet.
It's the same in our homes. Maybe some of the seeds we've planted will not grow in these little hearts. Maybe they will have to replant for themselves when they choose it and when they're ready.
You can't pull life out of a seed. There's no need to. The life is already within it.
The results are not always in our hands. But our responses are.
Let's devote ourselves to the little things today and let God do the rest. And let's keep anticipating the beautiful, strong harvest that we'll lay eyes on in a decade or so.
"To forget how to dig the earth and to tend the soil is to forget ourselves."
~ Mahatma Gandhi
more than "just" a mother
You are more than just a mother.
When I say "just" a mother, I don't mean to negate the value of one. The work of mamas is soul-inspired, soul-giving work--requiring the deepest we have to offer and taking up the best who we are.
And therein, lies the problem.
It's far too easy to blur the lines between who these little people are and who we think we are. When we do so, we negate all the other roles we're called to play:
* child of God
* wife of one
* worker
* teacher
* mentor
* friend
* woman
As Mother's Day approaches, the whole country pauses to praise the value of mothers. This is well and good, yet our value and identity must not come from this passing-away role alone. Otherwise who will we be in a couple of decades when these littles are grown and gone?
I recently read about the mother of St. Augustine, a godly woman who raised and loved her son faithfully. Yet for years he rebeled and lived a disgraceful life. Looking through the results-focused lens of our culture, all the effort she had invested should have been judged a failure, until years later when he became a founding member of the Church.
You see, if we entangle the core of who we are with the behavior of our children, there will always be some way we're failing. By this definition any issue, any challenge that arises would negate the value of our work and therefore, our very identity.
But it doesn't. Because God has only called us to be faithful to this season in our lives, and to hand the results over to Him.
You are a mother, yes. A beautiful one at that.
But you are so much more, too. An individual valued just for who you are. Don't forget it.
"God has not called us to be successful. He has called us to be faithful."
~ Mother Teresa
