Steady Mom

How to unlock creativity in your home

Last year we had some lovely new friends over for a playdate. As they usually do, my kids eagerly took the visitors around for a tour--showing off their own bedrooms and everything in between.

Later when the mom and I were chatting outside together she said, "Your kids have no toys! Tell me how you've done this." I laughed initially--because to my mind I see toys everywhere, and I know my children have plenty.

But I went on to explain my toy philosophy, the most important of which is this:

Creativity can only grow where there's a void.

I recounted how I noticed that as I pared down our family's stuff through once-a-month decluttering, keeping only what we most treasured and used, I found that my kids' creativity continued to blossom.

Here are a few common-sense tips to allow for that void so creativity can fill it:

1. Make space.

When our homes are physically cluttered, there's no empty space to invite a child to begin a project. Simplifying literally allows a physical void to emerge.

2. Limit screens.

I am not one for doing away with screen time altogether. In fact, it is a vitally important part of our days--allowing me to work and make progress with my writing.

But other than once or twice a day when it's "video time," the television stays off. This creates a void of time--and unstructured time beckons boredom and creativity.

3. Books, books, books.

Reading encourages creative thinking.

Recently Trishna described to me the pictures her mind creates when she listens to a story or writes one of her own. It seemed magical to her that she can go somewhere else without actually going somewhere else--and it IS magical!

4. Let go of your stereotypes about creativity.

I do not knit, sew, paint, or draw, but I am a creative person. Sometimes we have stereotypes about creativity that we unknowingly pass on to our children. There's a myriad of ways to demonstrate creativity, and just by having a few basic supplies on hand we invite our kids to take part.

My friend Renee Tougas wrote a helpful e-book I highly recommend called Nurturing Creativity: A Guide for Busy Moms. It's available through her blog as well as on Amazon.

 

"The principle goal of education is to create men who are capable of doing new things, not simply of repeating what other generations have done -
men who are creative, inventive and discoverers."
~ Jean Piaget

 

why moms need a weekend & how to make sure you get one

There was a time, especially when my children were much younger, when my weekend days mostly matched all my days. Steve stayed home from work, which we loved, but the basic rhythm and routine of life for the most part stayed the same.

At the time, I had been profoundly influenced by some books and blogs I read about motherhood. At their core, their message was one of "press through, die to self, do the work even when it's hard, put others first."

There was truth within this, of course, but there was also a heavy burden and guilt when I did anything except for "work."

I've shed that load now, and I want you to be free, too.

 

why you need a weekend:

* because moms work really, really hard

* because resignation from motherhood is not an option

* because a burnt out, exhausted mama isn't a good one

* because having your weekdays and your weekend look mostly the same is a recipe for frustration and resentment

how to have a weekend - a few ideas:

* say no to certain tasks & save them for weekdays

I rarely do laundry on the weekends. I refuse, and the refusal feels good. On Sundays I usually have to wash and dry a load, but I leave the actual folding and putting away until Monday.

* change up meals and dinner-making

Sometimes Steve will cook dinner on the weekends, which makes for a pleasant change for me. Or we'll have a night "off" from dinner and serve Amy's Frozen Burritos instead.

* saying yes to a tad more screen time

Once when I felt a rush of frustration at the lack of a weekend, I remembered my days of watching endless Saturday morning cartoons as a kid. We don't watch traditional television, but I came up with the idea of letting each child choose a Netflix video on weekend mornings. This has worked brilliantly!

They love it because I usually choose the videos during the week (mainly to prevent sibling squabbles). It's special to them and it means Steve and I have an hour and a half to sip tea together and chat, or to read a book, or to catch up on work (not too often but sometimes!)

This is what has worked for us, but let your mind go to work and brainstorm how you can change things up on the weekends.

Weekends are for mamas, too! Let's reclaim them.

“- "I've been thinking Hobbes --"
- "On a weekend?"
- "Well, it wasn't on purpose..."”
~ Calvin & Hobbes

 

I will tell my kids I'm proud of them

Popular parenting experts assert that we shouldn't tell our kids we're proud of them. Apparantly in our desire to affirm we have "good job'd" our children left, right, and center--until the only reason they do something is to please us and receive a pat on the back.

I desperately want my little people to have their own internal motivation and to feel confident that they can do what they set out to. I don't want to cripple them with spoken words--even my positive ones.

So for years now, in moments of accomplishment large and small, I've mainly said something like "You should feel proud of yourself" or "Doesn't that give you a good feeling inside?" or "Look at you!"

And it does feel good when we make right choices, and we should feel proud of ourselves.

But what to do with those feelings of my own, when the pride in these God chose me to spend my life with rises in my throat until I can hardly bear it?

When Elijah decides to share something precious to him, when Jonathan rushes out to clear the driveway of snow so Steve can get to work, when Trishna spends hours writing and drawing and finally fills an entire book?

I get that I don't want them to be dependent on my praise in life, I do. I am starting to believe, however, that in a world of growing insensitivity and insecurity--a world often lacking in compassion or recognition--mothers and fathers are uniquely positioned to speak out and proclaim over our little ones that we see gifts in them.

That we notice. That we like what we see. That the way they've been designed is right, good, glorious.

And so I will let those feelings rise in my throat and I'll celebrate their coming out clear and strong. I will believe that, instead of crippling them, these words will strengthen the inner confidence my babes already feel inside about who God made them to be.

I will tell my kids I'm proud of them. Because I am. Because it's the truth.

Because they need to hear it.

“The desire to reach for the stars is ambitious. The desire to reach hearts is wise.”
~ Maya Angelou

 

On raising little women: Mothering lessons from Marmee

"Last autumn I decided to return for the first time in two decades to a book I once loved: Little Women. I have fond memories of Meg, Beth, Amy, and the sister I identified most with, Jo.

As a teen the hopes and ambitions of these young women captured my imagination. How would life turn out for them? Would they find the men of their dreams? Would Laurie end up with Jo? I had my eye on a certain boy at the time myself (he’s now my husband ) and the girls’ romantic notions fit my own.

Reading the novel as a 36-year-old, however, was a new experience. This time my focus turned toward the awe-inspiring mother, Marmee. After all, I’m in the midst of raising my brood just as she did.

Her four daughters had vastly different opinions in almost every area of life, but they agreed on one thing–their love and near adoration for their mother:

“Glad to find you so merry, my girls,” said a cheery voice at the door, and actors and audience turned to welcome a tall, motherly lady, with a “can-I-help-you” look about her which was truly delightful.”

I aspire to this same level of love and friendship, admiration and respect with my children as they mature. How did Marmee manage to keep her children’s hearts during their adolescence, and how can we adapt her strategies to our 21st century lives?"

Read the rest of this post (about one of my favorite novels) over on Simple Homeschool.