"I can't auction off my happiness to the kids--I have to own it myself."
I wrote these words in my journal several months ago, at a time when on the surface I found happiness challenging. I was in a season of constant discipline issues and tantrums to deal with and to my peace-loving self, the result was anything but happy.
We will have periods when our natural circumstances, for major or minor reasons, don't lead directly to joyful emotions. During those times, it's powerful to remember that we can take action to be happy, even when we don't feel happy.
I've noticed that certain activities make me feel good while others don't. There are plenty of tasks within our days that we can't control, but others we can. So why not fill our time, as much as possible, with the things that make us feel good? This will naturally enable us to be happier, regardless of our circumstances.
Write a list of what makes you happier. Here are a few bulletpoints from my own:
- taking a short nap in the afternoon
- going for a 20 minute walk
- suffering for 15 minutes to make progress on an unpleasant project
- reminding myself that "this moment is perfect"
- writing a quick journal entry sharing one of my favorite moments of the day
- leaving my phone upstairs to help me maintain screen balance during my time with the kids
- reading at least one chapter of fiction each day
When challenging moments arise and your happiness levels decrease, head to your list and see what fits your mood and what you most need in that moment.
I read and loved both of Gretchen Rubin's memoirs about happiness, but what I've found works best for me is not making happiness "resolutions" (which feel like tasks on a to-do list), but to set myself up for success by orchestrating my day in a way that leads to joy.
"Slow. Children at play.
The hurry hurts the kids. Time’s this priceless currency
and only the slow spend it wise enough to be rich.
If we had to actually buy our time,
would we spend it more wisely — spend it more slowly?"
~ Ann Voskamp, 10 Ways to be a Happier Mom
