Jonathan & his thumb - age six months
My firstborn is a sensitive soul. Always has been.
When he gets attached to something, he gets attached to something.
Like his thumb, for example. And his blankie, given to him by a family friend when he was just a few months old. The two combined (thumb in mouth while cuddling blankie) always went hand-in-hand.
Which was fine with me. I had no problem with it at three, four, even five years of age.
Then the dentist started to get on my case.
"He sucks his thumb?" (Read this with a tone more like-- "You're ruining his future?")
Not one to give in easily, I was skeptical.
But after a few more months, I began to feel that Jonathan was developmentally ready to stop his thumb-sucking.
The only way, in my mind, this could happen would be to get rid of blankie. I mean, even just looking at it from across a room caused him to put his thumb in his mouth.
Enter a HUGE problem.
While Jonathan may have been persuaded to give up his thumb, there was no way this boy was giving up his nighttime companion without a fight.
Jonathan, thumb, & Blankie - age 4 years
The first time I brought up the subject, tears flowed and chins quivered--from both of us. The second, third, and fourth discussions ended similarly.
You can reason with a five-year-old a bit, so I explained the dentist's concerns about his thumb. His response: "No, Mommy, no!"
After weeks of this, an idea struck me one night. I wasn't sure it would work (in fact I was highly skeptical), but I figured it was worth a shot.
I told Jonathan that the issue was not Blankie; the issue was his thumb. If he wanted to keep Blankie, we'd try to see if he could stop the thumb-sucking even though he still slept with his soft friend.
So we made a plan--involving a bandaid on his thumb, a glove on top, and Blankie for comfort. I agreed to sleep with him the first two nights.
On night one, while putting on the bandaid, nervous little tears escaped down his cheeks. Change is hard, isn't it?
I had no idea how it would go--would we be up all night?
"Jonathan, I'm just going to brush my teeth. Then I'll be right back."
I came back ten minutes later to find him--sound asleep.
He slept all night and the next one. On night three he moved back to his own bed.
Three weeks later he stopped wearing the glove at night. He's never put his thumb in his mouth again, Blankie by his side the whole way through.
He did what I didn't think he could do. I'm so glad I gave him the chance to prove me wrong.
I'm glad I considered his feelings and didn't just steam-roll pass while declaring "my decision."
When issues like these arise with our kids, we can look for a win-win. Our kids' responses aren't just inconveniences, they are signs trying to direct and guide us to a solution that works for everyone.
A solution that respects those involved, no matter what size they are.
This is the lesson I learned from a tattered blue blanket with a dog head, and a determined, sensitive boy.
I asked Jonathan if I could share his story with you.
His response: "I'd love to."
*Do you have a blankie or thumb-sucking story to share?*
