Today's post is by Steady Mom's newest contributor--Eren of Vintage Chica!!
Hello everyone!
I guess I should introduce myself first. My name is Eren Hays San Pedro and I am a mother to three active little boys…twins Ian and Zane who are 8 and Wyatt who is 5. I am also a military wife, a gardener and a crafter.
When Jamie first asked me to contribute about maintaining enthusiasm here at Steady Mom, I really had to take a day or two to consider her offer. And at first the lack of confidence crept in…who am I to tell these wonderful mamas how to stay focused and stay happy. I have trouble with this myself. I get tired and worn out and throw my hands up and order pizza just as often as you do.
But then after some consideration, I welcomed the opportunity to share real and authentic thoughts and ideas with other mothers.
So here I am.
Have you ever noticed that just when you get your baby sleeping through the night, they begin teething and are up all hours again? Or you organize the playroom just right only to find that the baskets you so carefully organized aren’t working for how your child plays in the space.
It was only six months ago that here in our house we began a new reward chart. I found myself feeling frustrated that I was doing many of the simple jobs around the house that really the boys should be doing for themselves.
We had a family meeting and decided that there were some jobs that we should all do because we are a part of a family - like make our beds and keep our own toys picked up. But there were a few jobs around the house for which the boys could earn some spending money - like taking out the trash or helping unload the dishwasher.
So I took an entire morning to write down chores that were age appropriate, draw out the chart with the days of the week neatly drawn across the top. I even laminated them so that we could keep track of who had done what with dry erase markers.
The chart worked great…for about 4 months. But soon I found the chart not being motivation for my boys anymore. I was having to hound the previously eager boys to keep track of the money they were earning.
I got frustrated with the boys and began doubting myself. What had I done? Had I expected too much of them? Was I paying them too much? Too little? I was ready to throw in the towel and go back to picking up the playroom myself…it just seemed like it might be easier.
One night while sharing my thoughts about the situation with my husband he commented that maybe it was time for me to “up my game.”
I thought about that concept for several days.
And I think he was right.
It was not that the reward chart was not a good idea or that I had written in the wrong list of duteis. It worked for the 6 months that it worked. But it was now time to “up my game.” We had accomplished what we had set out to do, encourage responsibility in our boys.
I realized that my little people are growing and changing and our systems (and my mothering) need to grow and change with them. What worked six months ago might not work today.
I needed to rework it. Add a few new responsibilities, change the rewards. And after a little reworking of our reward system we were back on track! The boys were looking forward to having even more responsibility and different duties on our list. We added a few new “carrots” or bigger rewards.
So I encourage you as I remind myself as well, if there is something that is not working for you right now, don’t get frustrated and quit. Your instincts were probably spot on in the first place.
Maybe it is just time to up your game!
**In what parenting areas have you had to up your game recently?**
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When Eren is not at the local thrift store, she can be found barefoot in her backyard garden or at the sewing machine. Eren shows how she puts a little vintage into modern day living at her blog, Vintage Chica.
