Photo by Ilan
I love reading tips from other moms--lessons they've learned, experiences they've had. And over the past two months as I've been developing my own Happiness Project, based on ideas from Gretchen Rubin's fun book, I've come up with a few tips myself.
I thought I'd periodically share some of my happiness resolutions here, with the hope that even if a tip may not be the right goal for you, it may at least inspire some thoughts that will lead to a happier household of your own.
I'm starting with tip #101 (Because 101 is a cool number to start with!): Be a kind, detached policeman.
Imagine you've just been speeding or committing some other minor offense, and you see those blue lights behind you. Your heart sinks as you pull over, and a friendly officer walks to your window.
"You were speeding, ma'am. I'm sorry, but I'll have to write you a ticket."
Now, you could start crying or even lamenting how it's so unfair--but your behavior isn't going to offend the police officer. He's not going to take your reaction personally and start crying himself! Heavens no, he's just doing his job and what it takes to keep the peace in our society.
This image is powerful for me at the moment, because I do a lot of policing these days.
My days are constantly spent helping three children learn kindness and self-control. And while we've made the choice to not spank, we still regularly write "tickets" that lead to consequences for our kids. (Well, we try distraction, discussion, and empathy first, but if those don't work out we do use time outs and removal of privileges.)
What I've found though, is that sometimes I become personally affected by the children's behavior--I blame myself for the problem, if they get upset I get more upset, and so the whole altercation goes completely downhill fast.
Enter the image of the kind, detached policeman--I compassionately issue a consequence, help the child get through it, and move on with our day.
It may sound simple, but keeping this image in mind is helping to make our household (& me!) much happier in the moments that require policing.
And remember: sometimes a kind policeman lets an offender off with just a warning!
**What helps you remain calm when dealing with behavior issues?**
If you enjoyed
this post, I hope you'll subscribe
to Steady Mom--it's free!Jamie is
founder of this spot called Steady Mom, editor of the blog Simple Homeschool, mama to three cute kids born on three different continents, and author of Steady
Days: A Journey Toward Intentional,
Professional Motherhood.
