The following post is written by Steady Mom's monthly contributor, Catherine.
Our family has a unique element to it. Our oldest child had cancer and
was in treatment for five years. We just finished up his therapy and
celebrated with a big party.
While I was making a sheet cookie to share at the hospital for his last chemo treatment our middle child asked me when she would start chemo.
My response?
"I hope you never have chemo sweet pea."
She proceeded to tell
me that she thought having chemo was not so bad because Mason got a lot
of extra attention during chemo.
I couldn't help but feel
guilty.
She was right--our lives were indirectly controlled by how Mason was feeling, how strong or weak his immune system was and his treatment schedule.
My husband and I often talked about
finding a balance and not giving excess to Mason just because he
was sick. We did special things for our daughter along the way but for
most of his treatment she was too young to remember those efforts.
Just recently, she started making comments when we were talking about him finishing his treatment. She definitely felt left out.
After
talking to her and racking my brain, I decided I would surprise
her with her own decorated sheet cookie. I wanted to recognize her being
the best sister in the world.
She is Mason's biggest cheerleader and takes great pride in being "Mighty Mason's sister." She allows him to be the center of attention and hardly ever complains. She sacrificed a lot (that she may not even realize) during the past few years.
When she saw her cookie her eyes lit up and
she jumped up and down. She was so excited I almost cried.
Is this all it takes?
Yes, that small gesture was huge to her. It
put her and Mason on the same "playing field" for a bit. She took her
cookie and walked straight outside to show Dad.
Then she asked me if
she could take it to the neighbors and share it with them.
I was so proud of
her. She walked (in her socks) door to door showing off her "best big
sister" cookie and sharing with everyone. By the time she got home
it was almost gone, but she was still full of joy.
I started thinking about how
hard it is to create equality for all three of my children at the same
time. Life isn't always equal, and that's an important lesson for our little people to learn.
Focusing on your own blessings and not what
other people have (or don't have) is such a key concept.
It
may be impossible to have all things equal for each child, but through small gestures we can make each of our little ones feel uniquely special.
**How
do you handle equality in your home? If one child gets something does
that automatically mean the others do too?**
Catherine is a mother of three
children who finds strength in
simple ideas, inspiring others, and keeping things in perspective. She
blogs at The Shoe Box Daily,
where you can get tips and
ideas for thriving in the midst of life's challenges.
