Photo by Mark Michaelis
The following is a guest post by Steve Martin (not the comedian--Jamie's husband).
This morning I left the Philippines to begin over 20 hours of flying home to Jamie and the kids.
I'm somewhere between Korea and New York right now and I've never been more grateful for an open seat to stretch out during this long flight.
My job with Love146 requires regular travel, and while it adds extra family challenges we view it a privilege to meet with some of the most remarkable people and children in the world.
A traveling parent is something that many families experience.
I've come to see that whether I'm headed to Asia, Europe or simply a night away in a nearby state--for Trishna, Jonathan or Elijah the effect is the same. I'm gone.
For them, life just feels "different" and they may not be able to express the interruption to their routine as well as we can.
Photo by Hajime Nakano
Here are a few tactics Jamie and I have discovered to help our kids during these times.
1. Don't surprise them.
We talk to our children about upcoming changes a few days in advance. It gives them time to process, allows them to ask questions and to get involved in the preparations.
2. Don't change more than is absolutely necessary.
During times of change try to keep the daily rhythm constant, following similar patterns where possible. Let reading time, rest time, meal times, and so on happen when they usually would.
3. Keep changes as short as possible.
This is something we're fierce about. I was only in Manila for two days. Yes, I spent more time traveling than on the ground!
Make a conscious decision to be home as much as possible when you can--give the gift of stability to your children.
4. Flexibility is the key.
Although Jamie keeps most of our typical routine the same while I'm away, she also factors in plenty of special treats--meals out, a new museum, fun things to take little minds off of missing each other.
5. Focus on the positive.
It's all too easy to think about the negative when you're apart from your loved ones, but in our family we make a special effort to keep things positive.
So last week we talked about how cool it is that Daddy can go help the children in the Love146 Round Home. I emailed photos of the plane before take off for Elijah and I promised Trishna that I would come home as quickly as possible.
Love146 Round Home in the Philippines
6. Pace your routine changes.
We make sure that our calendars are synced so we don't schedule major routine disruptions back to back.
We allow enough space for things to return to "normal" and stay there for a while before adding another change to the schedule.
I'll get home tonight around midnight.
I'll keep my word to the kids and kiss them as they sleep - who can resist! Then tomorrow, as every Sunday morning, it's pancake time.
I'll dive straight back into our daily traditions and our intentional routine.
**What helps your family cope with changes in your life routine?**
Steve met Jamie at the age of 15 and has been chasing her around the world ever since. They got married 12 years ago--long before steady parenting was a part of their daily thoughts.
Steve works as the Director of Operations for Love146, whose mission is "the abolition of child sex trafficking and exploitation. Nothing Less." Find him on Twitter - @stevelove146.
