Steady Mom

What's Important at the End of the Day

Photo by Chris Metcalf

The following is a guest post written by Marci at Overcoming Busy.

Questions to Ask at the End of the Day:

* Did I spend enough time with my kids today?

* Did I have any eye-to-eye conversations with them?

* What did they tell me, or try to tell me, today?

* Did I slow down enough to enjoy them, or was my day too rushed?

* How have they changed from yesterday?

* Did I kiss my husband today?

* Did I treat him as my husband or as the hired help?

* What memories did I make for our family today?

* How can I do better tomorrow?

Each night, as I lay in bed, these questions run through my mind. Some days I am so pleased with the way my day turned out, that I smile myself to sleep. 

Other days, I pray that God will give me one more day to do better.  

Even with the best of intentions, some days just get away from me and I forget what matters most.  I forget that the rewards in this life aren’t based on how clean my kitchen is or how my hair looks.

Most days, it takes a conscious effort to make me take my eyes off my to-do list and just enjoy my family. 

My children won’t be little forever. 

I want a husband, not a roommate. 

We are a family. 

That is what’s important at the end of the day.

***Marci Goodwin has a passion for helping people get the busyness and clutter out of their lives so they can slow down and enjoy what is really important. She readily admits she doesn’t have it all figured out and is a work in progress experimenting on her family – a self-employed husband, an 8-year-old daughter, and a 4-year-old son.

Marci can be found blogging about her journey and the evil of “busy” at Overcoming Busy.***

1 Week to a More Thankful Thanksgiving

Photo by woodley wonderworks

Less than one week to go until the US holiday Thanksgiving. Are your plans in order?

Previous posts in this series discussed Thanksgiving stories to read with your family as well as menu planning for the big day.

Today let's chat about what can help pull the holiday together--mindful, intentional family traditions.

A wonderful tool to help along these lines is a book I've enjoyed reading recently, The Joy of Family Traditions, by Jennifer Trainer Thompson.

I discovered this book when I was doing research for Steady Days - looking for a resource that could inspire mothers to be more intentional in planning and considering family traditions.

Besides the lovely book itself, what endeared the author to my heart is that she is a fellow adoptive mama, with both a biological son and a daughter born in Guatemala.

The Joy of Family Traditions is filled with over 400 potential traditions to pick and choose from throughout the year. So it's a one-stop place to get ideas no matter what season or holiday is coming up. Check out Jennifer's website to find out more.

Jennifer's approach to tradition-making is informal and relaxing. In the introduction, she advises, "Don't feel obligated--the tradition should never overshadow the spirit of an event. If a tradition feels like a chore, don't do it."

Here are a few specific Thanksgiving traditions she mentions:

* Apparently the story goes that the pilgrims were desperately awaiting supply ships bringing food, and that their rations were down to three kernels of corn per person when ships were finally sighted.

Jennifer suggests placing three kernels of corn next to each plate at your table as a reminder, and stating three things you are thankful for.

* Place an index card & pen at each place setting. Write something you are thankful for about the person on your left and pass it so everyone does the same. Then read the responses together.

* Have each person light a candle, then lift it in a toast to what you are thankful for.

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Jennifer's publisher, Ten Speed Press, has passed along a copy of The Joy of Family Traditions for me to give away to one lucky Steady Mom reader.

To enter, just leave a comment below, letting us know what your family's favorite Thanksgiving tradition is. US Addresses only. (Sorry, international friends!)

I'll close the comments on Monday, November 23rd at 8pm EST. The winner (chosen at random) will be announced shortly afterward.

Thanks so much, and have a wonderful weekend!

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Comments are now closed.

And the winner is:

Kim said...

My grandmother made a beautiful harvest tablecloth for me. I use it once a year at Thanksgiving. Thank you for the chance to win.

The Balancing Act

The following is a guest post by Angie at The Creative Mama.

It seems to me that in the business of my every day life, cutting corners is a pretty normal occurrence.

I'm not talking about cutting someone off in the grocery line, or even pulling out in front of that slow-moving car. I'm referring to the tiny moments that so quickly pass by as I hurry from one task to another.

The invitation from my son to dance around the room with him, or my sister's phone call early in the morning - these seem so insignificant at the time, and I'm guilty of passing them up on occasion.

Looking back in the still of the night over my day, it's so easy to feel regret. Did I take advantage of the still, quiet moments?

Was I sure to drink up all that my children had to offer, did I get in touch with the friend who desperately needed encouragement?

Though my to-do list may be full, my heart simply isn't unless it has been filled with the joy and contentment of being around those I love.

Spending quality moments savoring my freshly bathed child's hair, or watching how happy the baby is to see Daddy walk through the door. I have to constantly remind myself to soak in the here and now, to be watchful of cutting corners.

Is it worth it in the end to have checked off all of my to-dos, have a spotless floor, and a glorious dinner on the table if it means I've lost touch with the precious beings that call me Mama?

The balancing act is a tough one, but I am constantly aware of where I stand. So often I have to sit back and reassess, drop some of the balls I'm juggling.

I find it comforting to know that we are all on a similar journey - trying to do our best and enjoy the process!

Do you find yourself taking in the here and now, savoring the big AND little things? Do share, I'd love to hear how others are working towards 'The Balancing Act.'

***Angie Warren is married to a baseball loving man, and mama to two little boys. She is the editor and founder of The Creative Mama, as well as a child photographer in the beautiful Bay Area, CA.***

Adoption: A Beautiful, Broken System

This post is written in honor of National Adoption Day this coming Saturday.

It's hard to imagine a time in my life when adoption wasn't part of it. Hard to believe that years went by when I didn't live, breathe, and dream about this issue.

Only four years ago did I hold my first adopted child in my arms.

What beauty and richness, what depth it has ushered into my world.

And what brokenness.

Because adoption is a broken system. It would be so much better if there was no need for it--if all children were born and raised in families where they were loved, nurtured, provided for.

Where the harshness of neglect, poverty, and abuse never entered in.

I wish that was the case for all children around the world. But we know it isn't.

Adoption is a miracle for the one, but not a solution for the masses.

It's a beautiful, broken, imperfect solution.

My children are beautiful as well. Dimpled smiles, dark skin, curly hair, gorgeous eyes.

Such beauty--such joy they've brought to our home.

And yet my Indian daughter wonders why we didn't come for her sooner.

At night she asks me to pray that God will take away all her anger.

I've had to teach her to say "I love you, Mommy."

What should come naturally to her, doesn't.

My 4-year-old son tells me he's sad sometimes. He asks if he can have light skin, like Jonathan.

He wonders why he won't be able to meet his Liberian mother one day.

My children--lovely, beautiful children--with hearts a little bit broken.

I'm a different woman today because of adoption.

A different mother. This beautiful process helped me find myself, helped define my family, changed me.

I'm a broken mother as well--having cried tears of joy, sadness, anger, and pain over this beautiful system with its imperfections.

Yes, I am broken. And it's worth it.

My heart is not my own anymore. It belongs to the children.

 

All of them.

 

Those who cry.

Those who hunger.

Those who wish.

Those who dare to hope.

Those who dream of family.

Those who wait.

Could it be that one of them is waiting for you?