Steady Mom

the ebook criticism I've received that's actually a strength

Recently I received a negative review for one of my ebooks. A few years ago when this happened, it sent me into a tailspin. I would cry, dwell on the criticism, wonder why God called me to be a writer when it's so scary, and well...you get the picture.

Now I slowly begin to see the progress that's taken place in my heart over time. While I still don't like negative reviews (nobody does), they don't affect me the same way anymore.

I think I know why--I now stay away from them as much as possible. The books I've already written have gone out into the world; now they have a life of their own. After I celebrate them, I need to let go and move on to the next step of my calling.

I also know now that my work is not for everyone, so not everyone will identify with and love it. That's okay. The right people will.

But recent criticism I received on one of my ebooks is something that I actually think is a strength:

"Reads like a blog, not a book."

I used to be quite skeptical of ebooks, both writing or reading them. The advent of the Kindle and other e-readers has changed all that for me (I love my Kindle!).

Here are some of the things I've grown to love about ebooks:

- The total length of the book is often shorter.

When I'm reading nonfiction, to gather information, I want to gather an overview of what I need and then move on.

- Each chapter is shorter.

I like that certain ebooks tend to read like blog posts. Chapters like that are the perfect size for busy moms who need inspiration in bite-sized increments. I save my longer reading time for fiction.

- You can easily read them in a variety of formats.

Gone are the days when you are stuck behind your desktop to read an ebook. I do read a lot of them that way, but I also love that I can forward any pdf file to my Kindle and read that way too!

- Allows you to discover new writers and bloggers.

I have found new authors I want to read more of through ebooks. I discovered them through their books, and now I can read more of their work online. A total win-win.

"Whenever you read a good book, somewhere in the world
a door opens to allow in more light."
–Vera Nazarian

the time management advice I come back to again and again

Mamas in the Western world always seem to be on the hunt for extra time. We have jobs to perform, meals to make, kids to play with, homes to clean, meetings to attend, and much more.

Inevitably the hours in the day do not equal the items on the to-do list. Is it any wonder that we're overwhelmed and undernourished? That our souls ache with the busy-ness of it all? That motherhood is less joyful and more burdensome with each passing day?

But there is a time management tip that will help if we can just accept it:

Almost everything is negotiable. Most things are not quite as essential as we imagine them to be.

I heard my virtual friend and mentor Rachel DeMille allude to this once in a talk she gave about Leadership Education. A health crisis combined with burnout sent her into a freefall, and when her eight children ended up in the care of others more than they were in her care she finally realized she was serving no one well with her efforts to serve everyone perfectly.

By trying to do it all we end up doing less--and we hurt ourselves and our loved ones along the way. If you had an emergency arise, what would remain in your day and what would you have to let go of? Those are your negotiables--and they are negotiable now, before the emergency rises (and perhaps to prevent it!).

I came to this conclusion recently myself, as I shared with you in this post on avoiding burnout. With my writing obligations on top of my family obligations, as well as a house move coming up soon, I knew that something needed to give. But everything on my list seemed so valid, so important.

The book Tell Your Time by Amy Lynn Andrews finally led me to the conclusion that writing less here at Steady Mom during this upcoming season was the way to live free and add margin to my day.

Amy suggests dividing up your tasks and goals into two categories: nonnegotiables and negotiables. Within those two, you break your activities down into those that happen at a fixed time (like an out-of-the-home job) and those that happen at a flexible time you determine (like when you choose to sleep.)

When I did this I saw that my writing at Steady Mom falls into my negotiable/flexible quadrant--meaning I can let go of it during this short season while I focus on long-term growth in other areas.

Letting go of these "essentials," which are actually non-essentials, frees up the time we need to pursue our core priorities and dreams as women, mothers, and families.

“Until we can manage time, we can manage nothing else.”
  ~ Peter F. Drucker

on the disappearance of childhood

"I want my kids to have a childhood. A living, breathing, mud-between-toes, romping-in-woods, staring-at-the-sky childhood. A secure foundation setting the stage for a secure life.

The gift of childhood. I allow my kids to slowly unwrap it each day within our homeschool.

But as I look around--at influences, at media, at society--I see childhood disappearing, evaporating further with each passing year. Are we all okay with that?

I'm not. For the good of our children, for the good of our society, for the good of the world we need to reclaim it."

Click here to read the rest of this post at Simple Homeschool.

signs of mommy burnout and tips to help you avoid it

Helping mamas have freedom in their lives is one of my core passions and motivations behind the work that I do. Having shouldered my own burdens of guilt and lack of freedom over the years I know the issues that try to attack us as mamas and ruin our joy.

One of the main ones? You guessed it--burnout.

Signs of burnout:

- you typically enjoy your days, but now everything seems like a drag

- a task that you usually love, like writing, you wake up dreading instead

- life is good and nothing is "wrong" so what's with all the tears and heaviness?

- you feel like if you could only sleep, watch movies in bed, and read for a week or so everything would be good again

- aches, pains, colds, illness--your body trying to get your attention

Some of these symptoms may mirror those of depression, but depression isn't what I'm talking about here. In depression these symptoms would be magnified and extended and seeing a doctor would be a good idea.

Tips on avoiding (or finding your way back out of) burnout:

- recognize that daily time for yourself is crucial, not only to your self-care, but to the care of your whole family

- understand that your resources, especially your time, are finite. This means that there is an honest-to-goodness limit to the number of things you can do

- cut something out of your day. Your day may overflow with good tasks, things that you value. But even too many "good" things lead to burnout, so choose the absolute best and let go of the good--at least for a season.

- learn to spot your personal signs of burnout when they first start so you can make a change before you plunge into a full freefall

Years ago, in the name of productivity, I would simply ignore these symptoms and continue on. The results for my own mental/emotional health and for those I love, were far from pretty. I refuse to do that anymore!

This is my way of telling you something. I notice a few of these symptoms slowly creeping their way across my path. I have been blessed lately with many excellent writing opportunities for which I am wildly thankful.

But too many good opportunities are still too. many. My family comes first, not out of some pious calling or sense of duty, but because time with them is what I love most in this season.

I also want to be able to enjoy the awesome opportunities coming my way, instead of being overwhelmed by them. So I've decided to take a little break from writing here at Steady Mom.

Please don't unsubscribe or go anywhere!! I still plan to write when inspiration strikes, and when I have something worthwhile to share. I just need to release myself from the pressure to post a certain number of times each week for a while so I can give my attention to other things. I will be back!

If I preach a message of authentic, intentional living to my readers, it goes without saying I better live that authenticity myself. Otherwise my words count for nothing. I say no to burnout this time around, and yes to life. I encourage you to do the same.

"The world is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!
This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon,
The winds that will be howling at all hours,
And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers,
For this, for everything, we are out of tune;
It moves us not.--Great God! I'd rather be
A Pagan suckled in a creed outworn;
So might I, standing on this pleasant lea,
Have glimpses that would make me less forlorn;
Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea;
Or hear old Triton blow his wreathed horn."
~ William Wordsworth

free educational resources

Once upon a time I believed that education, done well, required a significant financial investment. Private schools and the amount spent by the government on each public school student certainly suggest that education comes at a high price.

After a couple of years, however, I began to notice that my kids needed less and less in order to learn. A library card, favorite book titles purchased for our home collection, a stack of blank paper, and a few well-chosen resources here and there have done the job quite nicely thus far.

Have you made the same discovery? If you're interested in saving your pennies while still helping those little minds grow, here are a few free and inexpensive educational resources you might not have heard of.

Read the rest of this post over at Simple Homeschool.