I am learning this lesson in big, in-your-face ways these days. I know that if I wrestle with this, it probably has relevance for you, too.
Since childhood I have tended to define myself by my accomplishments. Traditional schooling sets it up that way--it wasn't enough to get a good grade, I wanted to "beat" everyone else.
I'm not sure where this exactly came from--definitely not my parents. They were of more the "Did you try your best?" and "Take the day off from school." variety. (Seriously. I don't know if it was reverse psychology, but anytime I complained to my dad about school he would just suggest I stay home instead.)
I carried this measurement mentality into adulthood, but after college there weren't as many ways to quantify myself.
Until I began my journey into the blogosphere.
I had entered a numbers field day--pageviews, unique visits, subscribers, sales ranking, and more. Pretty much enough to drive a girl like me crazy. I have slowly learned to put boundaries around these measurements to stay sane and focused on mission, not measurement. But it's not always easy.
Maybe you don't measure yourself based on a blog; maybe you do it based on your children's behavior. If there are no tantrums or bad attitudes, I must be doing a good job. If I'm disciplining all day, I must be failing. Our mindsets veer toward extremes.
Take it to heart today: What you do doesn't define who you are.
We are complex, imaginative, glorious women. We have strengths and weaknesses, yes. That's part of our beauty.
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